Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
