Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
