I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
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Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
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I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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