Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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