They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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