I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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