this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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