Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
