Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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