Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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