she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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