A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize