i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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