He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
