So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
