it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
