Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
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She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
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VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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