A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
