You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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