their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
