Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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