i may or may not be watching the land before time
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
