like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
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