Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
