last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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