We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
