Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Randomize
