some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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