just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
