I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
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