I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
