i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
