normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
you will always have a special place in my vag
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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