You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
