i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
