i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I want to walk on stilts...naked
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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