walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Randomize
