how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
