He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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