I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
