he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
