my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
