Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
The adults are the big ones right?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
