I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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