I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I want to make a zoo with you.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
