Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
