I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
