Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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