I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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