my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Randomize
