Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
