...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
