I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
