her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
