it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
