Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
